It's a Dirtbag Camper, Not a Minivan

I have recently purchased a Kia Sedona dirtbag camper. It did not come as a dirtbag camper, I had to put it the work to get it to that point from its original minivan status. So here is how I converted my Kia minivan into a dirtbag camper for all seasons. 

Going into this, I knew I wanted to be able to fit my skis underneath the bed platform and still have plenty of storage. I also wanted to avoid taking out the middle row of seats because, after watching a number of YouTube videos on how to, it looked like a royal pain in the ass. Plus, the seats could still be used if needed. So I needed to come up with a hinge of some sort that would allow the platform to shrink down to the size of the trunk should I need to use the middle seats. 

1) With a rough plan in mind I ventured off to Home Depot for a piece of 3/4 inch plywood, 2x4, 4x4, and hinges. 

2) After flipping back and forth between building a real frame for the platform and just letting it sit on top of Tupperware bins, I went with the Tupperware support system. I went with this option because it would be easiest to beta test and change as needed, whereas building a frame was all or nothing. 

 

3) Having decided to use this much less labour intensive method, all that remained was to measure and cut the plywood into 2 sections, and connect the 2 using hinges. One section is sized to fit over the area of the middle seats, and the other fits over the rest of the back.

4) In order to reduce the amount of splinters received while sleeping, I stapled some old, itchy fleece blankets to the plywood. 

 

5) With the hard part done, all that remained was to throw some soft stuff on top of the platform and hit the road.

 

It may not be the fanciest camper but, it gets the job done. Here's hoping it has a long and well used life. Long live Bodevan.

How to Speed Through Hospital Emerge

(Please read the following as saturated in sarcasm. Do not attempt this.)

Sick of long wait times in hospital emergency departments? Here is how to skip the lines and fast track your ED experience. 

Step 1: Ride your bike around a very dusty corner at moderate speed. 

Step 2: Fall off your bike. Be sure to fall onto your break lever in a way that it becomes lodged in your leg. 

Step 3: Be taken into the hospital by EMS still holding the handle bars. 

Step 4: Have break removed from your leg and be discharged. 

Step 5: Proceed to the nearest ice cream establishment. 

This is how I made it in and out of the busiest hospital in Calgary. The incident, from fall to being discharged, was 3 hours in total. I was working as a bike patroller and we were closing the trails at the end of a very epic and very dry day. I was responsible for closing Safari Planet, a local favourite due to the flowing table top jumps and burms. While riding down, I went into the first burm and hit a pile of dry dirt causing my bike to slide out from under me. I was a tangle of dirt, limbs, and bike. Embarrassed and glad no one was around to see, I attempted to push my bike off of me. It didn't budge but I felt a strange tugging on my leg. Thinking nothing of it, I tried to move again with the same result. It was then that I noticed my left break lever was missing. I looked around the crash site for it, but found nothing. I slowly began to realize that it was not missing at all, it was in my leg.

I briefly considered pulling the lever out, which was lodged in the same vicinity as my femoral artery, and riding down. After what felt like hours of deliberation, I finally decided the best thing to do would be to call for help. After sending out the patrol signal, my coworkers rushed back up the hill. After much protest on my part, EMS and Fire were called. My bike was dismantled and I was dragged out of the trail, still holding my handlebars. 

Now, if you are ever riding down Safari Planet at COP, there is a set of handlebars, with the left break coloured red, mounted to a tree on the first corner with a sign reading Breaklevr Burm. 

 

 

The Story of Chinaman's Peak

Just outside the town of Canmore, Alberta sits a towering mountain by the name of Ha Ling. Though breath-taking in its own right, Ha Ling, sandwiched between the legendary Mt. Rundle and Three Sisters, is often over looked. His story is not often told. So today I will share the story of Ha Ling and how it has become known as Chinaman's Peak. 

On a late night, back when the valley in which Canada's highway 1 sits was being taken full advantage of by the mining industry, a small group of miners were enjoying a few drinks in a Canmore bar after a long week. It was about two in the morning and each member had had his fair share to drink. Glancing out the window at the peak of Ha Ling, one miner of Asian descent boasted, "I could climb that!" Not about to let him back down from his claim, his friends bet him another round that he couldn't. To the happily drunk miner this sounded like an easy way to earn a free drink, so off he trudged into the night toward the mountain. He wandered up the steep southern slope in a nearly perpendicular path through the trees and scrambled up the scree right to the very top. Having completed his challenge he headed back to the bar to enjoy his reward. 

Since that night, Ha Ling has been granted the nickname of Chinaman's Peak.